Journal: 27.05.11

Oh, um, hello there. It’s been a bit quiet around here but I have not been slacking, oh no!

• Exercise: I’ve been participating in the Up and Running online running programme since the end of March. Me! Running! I’m planning my final 5K for next weekend, and I fully intend to keep running after that. I do plan (don’t laugh!) to write a bit more on running after that 5K but for now I’ll refer you to Alex’s brilliant posts here and here because she pretty much says everything I feel. 
• The scales: OK, so I forgot this week. Blame hormones. Bah. But I am slowly losing weight – I can feel my clothes getting baggier and people have started to tell me I’m looking slimmer, which is lovely. Over Easter and my birthday at the end of April I did pack a few pounds on (partly due to 2 days in Lewes where the Harveys beer is SO GOOD), but happily I managed to run them off again.
• Blogging: Erm……… Yeah. Not so much with the blogging of late. I’d blame the kitchen, but that’s been finished for over a month now (lookit! So pretty).  Moving swiftly on….
• Food diary: Keep moving……. (OK. I suck at keeping any kind of diary for more than about a month)
• Get out of London: I got out of London! Back in early April I ventured Up North to see lovely Diane in Sheffield and had a brilliant day
• Learn to drive: I now have my provisional license, and a lesson booked in early July. OMG. I’m trying not to forget that when I had lessons all those years ago I really quite enjoyed driving, but instead every time I think about driving now I feel FEAR *quakes*.
• Nails: Mission accomplished! 

Journal: 25.03.11

Hello! Isn’t spring lovely?

This week:

• I may have overdone the exercise a tad on Sunday – spent 4 hours cleaning and moving kitchen stuff around and still went on the bike. Was watching music TV and they played Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine – my 17 year old self reappeared as if by magic. Turns out you *can* mosh and pedal at the same time, but it makes your legs very wobbly the next day.
• First weigh-in this week, on Wednesday morning. Was unpleasant.
• Up and Running starts for real next week (this week was ‘warm-up week’), and I’ve been enjoying reading all the posts on the forum. Next week I’ll be running (me, running!) on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Wish me luck!

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Journal: 18.03.11

Just a quick update this week:

• No weigh-in just yet, but a battery has been purchased so we’ll have functioning scales soon. Expect a “Waaaaah!” post next week…
• I went for another walk/run on Sunday (45 minutes, IN THE RAIN), and managed two 30 minute sessions on the exercise bike.
• Have had a few more treats than normal – chips twice (although both times I only ate half the portion), a couple of pints of Guinness, a Creme Egg and a mint Aero. They were all tasty. NO GUILT ALLOWED.
• I’ve created a new page on this here blog (look up!), where I’m going to post inspirational pictures, quotes etc. I have called it, in a stroke of no creative genius whatsoever, Inspiration Point. If any of you lovely readers can think of anything suitably inspiring and motivating I should post there please let me know. I will hug you, if you like that kind of thing.
• Blogging has been a bit slow this week – I’ve been doing a bit of admin for the amazing Authors for Japan (have you seen it? Please take a moment to have a browse and a bid), and I tried to write about Monroe for TV Canary but didn’t get the time. Oh well. Our kitchen should be finished this weekend (bar the painting), so at least I have material for Lovely next week.

Journal: month 1

I’ve just looked at my diary and realised that I’ve been following my new – what’s a nice alternative word for regime? – for a month already. Here’s how it’s been going so far:

• I’ve calculated that in the past month I have pedalled away on the exercise bike for a grand total of 6 hours and 20 minutes. That’s 95 miles! I’m a bit gobsmacked at that. On average I’ve been going on the bike for about 20-30 minutes 3 times a week after work, plus 1 or 2 longer sessions at weekends. I’ve also been going for walks at lunchtime – yesterday’s walk was for the full hour in glorious spring sunshine – and last week I even attempted a bit of running. What’s also gobsmacking is that I’m actually enjoying all this exercise! I’ve even exercised during my period, which before would have been UNTHINKABLE. I definitely feel fitter, and ready to step it up a gear with the running programme that starts soon.
• My food diary is still going strong, and my eating habits have been pretty good I think. I’m getting used to smaller portions – I hope I can keep this up once our kitchen is back to working order and I can use my shiny new oven!
• The bathroom scales still need that new battery though…………
• Trying to save at the moment is a bit difficult as I keep wanting to buy lots of lovely new things for the kitchen, but I’ve cut down on the amount I used to spend on lunch at work which is something (and I’m still saving the daily £2 I used to spend on Pret lattes).
• I took a couple of photos at the weekend as  I thought it would be good to have a full-length one as a reference point – I’ll take more along the way as a visual record of my progress. I quite like the top one and have used it for my Twitter profile picture, although the negative bit of my brain thinks my fingers look sausage-y (FFS). The full-length one (taken at my parents’ as we don’t have a long mirror) hasn’t come out that well but will have to do for now. Holy crap, I need a haircut!

The how

• Exercise: I’m trying to build exercise into my routine, so at the moment I’m doing 20 minutes on the exercise bike at least 3 times a week (20 minutes equals 5 miles). I’ve got a Pilates DVD for a bit of variation, and I’m going to take up running (slowly, verrrry slowly) – I’ve signed up for this. I’m trying to walk more at lunchtimes during the week as well, so exercise becomes something I do every day. I’ve just read “If I Am So Smart Then Why Can’t I Lose Weight?” by Brooke Castillo and found it so inspiring, it’s really helped to shift my attitude to exercise (more on that to come in a future post).
• Keep track of weight loss: I know from experience that in order for me to lose weight successfully I have to weigh myself every week. About 3 years ago I lost a couple of stone over the course of a year, and having that weekly weigh-in (albeit in the privacy of my own bathroom) really helped me keep focus. For some reason that’s lost to me now I stopped the weigh in, and lo, my motivation disappeared and the weight snuck back on. I used to get on the scales every Saturday morning, but the results occasionally rained on my weekend (and Mike’s)! I’m thinking Wednesday mornings might be a better time for it. Of course, first I need to CHANGE THE BLOODY BATTERY SO THE DAMN THING WORKS.
• Blogging: my goal is to post on each of my blogs at least once a week. I certainly watch enough TV to make a weekly post on TV Canary achievable, and I want to write a weekly journal post on this blog to keep track of my progress. Poor old Lovely has been a bit neglected of late, but I’ve got a few ideas for stuff to write about there. And if it happens that most of it is all “ooh, look at this pretty thing”? THAT’S OK.
• Learn to drive: eek! Now we’ve got a car it seems silly not to take the opportunity to learn how to make it go. Once the kitchen is finished (sometime within the next month, hopefully) I’m going to investigate lessons and get my provisional license.
• Keep a food diary (and write in it EVERY DAY): 24 days and counting……..I’m normally crap at keeping things like this going but I have actually found it helpful to keep a record of what I eat. I’m also logging any exercise I do.
  

  the actual diary - any opportunity to get new stationery....

• Money: I’d quite like to have little to spare each month, instead of  spending the days leading up to pay day teetering on the edge of my overdraft limit. I’m looking at what I fritter my money on and the first thing to go has been my daily Pret latte that I was habitually getting on my way in to work. That was costing me £2 each time! Now I’m saving £10 per week, that’s £480 per year so saving for a trip to NYC in 4 years should be a doddle (please let it be a doddle). I’ve set up a standing order for £40 a month from my current account to my ISA, and I’ve discovered that Nescafe instant vanilla lattes are rather nice
• Get out of London: progress has been made on this one already as I’m off to see lovely Diane in Sheffield in a few weeks. Yay!
• Portion control: I’ve bought some good kitchen scales and I’m taking care to weigh stuff like rice and pasta according to packet instructions (instead of just tipping half the packet into the pot). Turns out that’s actually enough! I’ve always had eyes bigger than my stomach, so I’m having to train myself to stop eating when I’m full, even if that means leaving something on my plate (!!!). I’ve no interest in denying myself – this is about being healthy, not miserable – but I’ve realised it’s possible to have 1 biscuit, instead of half the packet.
• Rediscover recipes: when the kitchen is ready and before I re-shelve all my cookery books I’m going to count how many I have and make a note of how many recipes there are in each. Then I’m going to cook a different recipe per week and blog about it over on Lovely.

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The goals

Goals! I got ‘em (an unfinished list):

• Make exercise a regular part of my routine – that means committing to doing some exercise 3 times a week for at least 20 minutes (that’s the minimum I think I can manage – hopefully I’ll do more)
• Get down to a size 14 by Christmas 2012 (at this point, 16 would be pretty frickin’ fabulous but I’m thinking long term here)
• Sign up for and complete the Up & Running 5K Beginners Course
• Post on each of my blogs at least once a week
• Learn to drive by Christmas 2012
• Keep a food diary (and write in it EVERY DAY)
• Save enough money to a) keep out of my overdraft each month and b) go to New York when I’m 40 (that gives me 4 years to save like crazy)
• Grow my nails again and keep them looking pretty with regular home manicures
• Get out of London more – go for day trips with Mike, take myself off to see friends who live outside my little corner of the South East
• Create a picture wall in the kitchen (by this summer)
• Keep control of portion sizes –  one of the reasons I’m overweight is my tendency to cook enough to feed an army….and then eat it all…
• ….following on from that one, learn to recognise when I’m full
• Devote more time to photography – and finally learn how to operate my camera (which I’ve had for 2 WHOLE YEARS) on manual
• Go for walks in Banstead Wood, Box Hill and further afield with Mike at weekends
• Get to the bottom of my to-be-read pile before I buy any new books
• Make the most of my huge collection of cookery books (I’m more of an instinctive cook, I tend to read a cookery book for inspiration then bung it on a shelf and forget about it)

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The why

Ever since I saw this Dr Seuss quote posted on tumblr I’ve not been able to get it out of my head. Not one normally given to introspection, it has really made me think – about who I am, how other people see me, how I see myself. Big stuff, eh?

I’ve not started 2011 in the best shape, let’s be frank. I’m probably the heaviest I’ve ever been (I’ve yet to weigh myself as the battery on our scales is dead…of course), and I get out of breath walking up the slightest gradient. I’m tired a lot. Clothes I like are languishing at the back of the wardrobe because they’re just that bit too tight (ok, a lot too tight), and I’m fed up with having such a small selection of places to shop. I love fashion, and like to think of myself as a stylish person, so why am I limiting myself in this way? While I’m in a pretty good place emotionally (I think!) I am not at all happy with how I look or feel physically right now. When I look in the mirror I experience a split second of shock that the person staring back is me. How did I get that many chins? That person in the mirror is not the me I want to be.

Enough. Something’s got to change, not just what I eat and the amount of exercise I take, but my whole attitude toward my body, and food. And it’s not just body issues that need tackling – there are plenty of areas in my life where I could benefit from a bit of a kick up the bum. My finances need organising, I could do with clearing out some house and wardrobe stuff, and I want to spend more time on things I love doing (like blogging and photography), instead of welding myself to the sofa at every given opportunity.

I’m going to use this space to talk about the steps I’ll be taking to unearth the ‘me-est’ me (a silly term, maybe, but it makes sense in my head). I think it’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done….and I’m looking forward to it.

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